In our society, there is a prevailing stereotype that OCD primarily affects individuals with excessive hand washing or checking behaviors. However, OCD can manifest in unexpected ways, such as with obsessions related to homosexuality, known as homosexual OCD (HOCD).
In this article, we discussed everything you need to know about homosexual OCD, and the best treatment for this disorder.
Homosexual OCD Definition?
Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD) is defined by an overpowering anxiety linked to identifying as homosexual or becoming one. Individuals often experience intrusive, troubling mental images of homosexual behavior, along with uncontrollable doubts and thoughts that can be deeply distressing and lead to compulsive checking behaviors.
What is Homosexual OCD?
Homosexual OCD causes individuals to question their sexual orientation and contemplate same-sex attraction, leading heterosexuals to question their own sexual identity and develop obsessive fears about not being able to establish a loving relationship due to concerns about their sexual orientation. Individuals with HOCD may grapple with self-doubt to the extent of considering ending relationships or marriages. Those with homosexual OCD who are religious may also experience extreme guilt for their distressing thoughts, leading to obsessions with moral purity.
What Does Sexual OCD Mean?
Sexual OCD refers to a variety of OCD characterized by intrusive sexual obsessions. Individuals with sexual OCD may experience unwelcome, compulsive sexual thoughts related to diverse subjects such as children, deceased or inanimate objects, animals, deities, or family members, with the severity varying among individuals.
Below are some common symptoms of HOCD:
- Persistent anxiety about being homosexual
- Doubting one’s sexual orientation or identity
- Intrusive sexual thoughts and images related to individuals of the same sex
- Fear of unintentionally conveying signals to same-sex individuals
- Concern about developing feelings for the same sex
- Obsessive thoughts about the possibility of being homosexual
- Fear that same-sex attraction could result in the loss or destruction of existing relationships.
Other Common OCD Sub-Types
Individuals with one OCD subtype may also experience other subtypes simultaneously, and managing these co-occurring subtypes is essential for achieving balance and recovery from OCD.
Harm OCD
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a condition that can affect anyone, regardless of gender, age, or race, and can manifest in various ways. OCD can lead to intrusive thoughts, also known as unwelcome thoughts or mental images. Intrusive thoughts are a hallmark of all forms of OCD, characterized by relentless, distressing thoughts, which constitute a type of obsession.
Pure O (Pure Obsessional OCD)
Pure O is defined by distressing and intrusive thoughts without overt physical compulsions, although individuals may exhibit covert mental compulsions. Many misconceive “Pure O” as the absence of compulsions; however, compulsions indeed exist but predominantly occur internally and are less noticeable to others.
OCD in Relationships
A relatively new subtype called relationship OCD (HOCD) is characterized by concerns and anxieties about personal or romantic relationships. Individuals with homosexual OCD may experience intrusive thoughts, anxieties, and doubts about whether their partner is right for them or whether they are attracted to their partner, potentially leading to contemplation of ending the relationship.
Sexual OCD
Research indicates that up to 24% of individuals diagnosed with OCD experience sexually intrusive thoughts, but due to reluctance in acknowledging their condition, the actual numbers may be higher. These obsessions can equally affect men and women, potentially disrupting personal relationships due to the fear and anguish induced by the intrusive thoughts. Contrary to common misconceptions, sexual obsessions are not fantasies. Rather, they center around the individual’s fear of immoral thoughts, such as rape or pedophilia. Individuals with this form of OCD consider these thoughts to be awful, distressing, and shameful, and they do not desire to have them.
What Causes HOCD?
Events that raise uncertainty or trigger questions about one’s sexuality can serve as catalysts for homosexual OCD. These events are often distressing and leave a lasting impact on individuals. Teenagers with OCD often grapple with uncertainties about their sexual orientation, intensifying their preoccupation with it.
The following experiences can trigger obsessive fixation on one’s sexuality:
- Discovering that a loved one is gay, leading to feelings of shock and uncertainty about one’s own sexual identity
- Facing ridicule, harassment, or accusations of being homosexual
- Same-sex relationships involving sexual experimentation, and in some cases, experiences of sexual abuse or trauma leading to questioning of sexual identity
- Brief, intrusive thoughts about same-sex individuals causing pervasive anxiety and uncertainty about sexual identity
- Unsuccessful or negative experiences with individuals of the opposite sex, along with issues related to arousal, intimacy, or sexual performance
- Excessive anxiety about dating, personal relationships, or sexual intimacy, or a lack of significant sexual experience
- Exposure to individuals or institutions propagating the notion that homosexuality is immoral or wrong, leading to religious trauma, as observed in certain theological doctrines and purity cultures.
Differentiating Between Denial and HOCD
Distinguishing between HOCD and denial can be quite perplexing. In simple terms, denial involves refusing to acknowledge the truth, despite compelling evidence. On the other hand, HOCD involves an obsessive preoccupation with questioning one’s sexual orientation, even in cases where the individual is confident about their orientation.
The distinction between HOCD and denial can be summarized as follows:
HOCD, a subtype of OCD, entails an obsession with the fear of being gay, even when the individual does not identify as homosexual. This can be profoundly distressing and perplexing, often leading to increased homophobia as individuals attempt to “prove” their heterosexuality to themselves.
Denial, on the other hand, is simply rejecting the truth of something. In the context of HOCD, a person in denial about their condition would essentially reject the possibility of being homosexual, regardless of the evidence presented.
The key difference lies in the fact that HOCD is a recognized mental illness, whereas denial represents a refusal to accept reality. Although denial may initially be a natural response to something difficult to accept, it becomes problematic when it significantly impacts one’s life and well-being.
Individuals with HOCD may engage in rituals or mental exercises compulsively to “prove” their heterosexuality and may frequently question their sexual orientation. HOCD often emerges during adolescence or early adulthood, when individuals are exploring their sexuality.
HOCD can be incredibly debilitating, leading to social withdrawal, depression, and even suicidal thoughts. If you suspect you may have HOCD, seeking professional help is crucial. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has proven to be an effective treatment for individuals with HOCD, equipping them with tools to manage their anxiety and lead fulfilling lives.
You might be interested: What is CBT used for?
Similarities Between Denial and HOCD
There are numerous significant similarities between rejection and HOCD. In both scenarios, the individual becomes so fixated on a particular notion or worry that it hampers their everyday functioning. Even without any prior experiences or inclination towards the same sex, a person with homosexual OCD may perceive this as a fear of being homosexual or lesbian.
Even when they try to deflect or deny it, someone in rejection may compulsively ruminate over a distressing experience they had. In both cases, the individual will likely attempt to avoid anything that might trigger memories or emotions associated with the fixation.
Furthermore, they may engage in obsessive behaviors that oppose the obsessions; for instance, heterosexual men who excessively compensate by binge-watching heterosexual adult content or avoiding any interactions with individuals of the same gender.
How Do I Know if I Suffer From HOCD?
- Prolonged unease about being gay
- Uncertainty about their sexual preference
- Unwelcome sexual thoughts and images related to individuals of the same gender
- Apprehension of conveying misleading “signals” to someone they are involved with
- Relentlessly questioning one’s sexual orientation
- Refuting their sexual orientation
- Avoiding discussions about sexual orientation
- Reassuring oneself repeatedly about their sexual orientation
- Losing their sense of self or community
- Sexual arousal
What are the Long-Term Effects of HOCD?
The intrusive thoughts experienced by individuals with HOCD can be so intense that they lead them to abandon their careers, significantly transform their lives, or terminate relationships in an attempt to prevent a recurrence of their symptoms. Individuals with homosexual OCD may become so convinced of their sexual orientation that they come out as gay and start dating members of the LGBT community.
Sexual Orientation OCD Treatment
Medications such as SSRIs and therapies like CBT, which can aid in acknowledging one’s thoughts and actions without acting upon them, are employed in the treatment of OCD and HOCD. Through treatment, individuals with SO-OCD and OCD can manage their symptoms and lead fulfilling, healthy lives.
How Does HOCD Affects Relationship?
Influence on interpersonal relationships
Individuals may feel the need to conceal their anxieties from their loved ones. Due to the conflict and anxiety surrounding their sexual orientation, homosexual OCD and SO-OCD can also hinder a person’s ability to engage in romantic or sexual relationships.
How to permanently eliminate HOCD
Learn to manipulate your thoughts and perceptions.
Through cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), individuals can learn how to modify their thought processes.
Alternatively, acceptance and commitment therapy can also be utilized to understand how to embrace one’s thought patterns.
Abandon seeking validation
Consider this as a lesson in ceasing actions aimed at obtaining affirmation. This could be the initial step in stopping.
Cease mentally scrutinizing and “checking” to ensure that you are not gay and to assess whether you are still attracted to individuals of the opposite sex.
Stop avoiding
You might be evading situations, people, or objects that you believe could exacerbate your homosexual OCD or act as “triggers”. By ceasing this avoidance, your brain learns that you are alright, particularly if you realize that the things, you’re doing exacerbate the situation.
Manage your stress and anxiety
This is crucial. Expect that HOCD will indeed be distressing you. Moreover, humans find change distressing as well because we are not adept at it! Overcoming homosexual OCD largely depends on your ability to manage anxiety, which is why I provide an entire program dedicated to anxiety management, in addition to a course on conquering HOCD!
Set aside your thoughts and cease excessive analysis
Most of the distress, if not entirely, is internal to your mind. You suffer due to your continuous self-doubt, incessant checking, and ongoing analysis of your sexuality. Despite it being internal, you can learn to let go of it by being aware of your state and practicing mindfulness, which is integrated into the training.
In summary, treatment of Homosexual OCD can be achieved through CBT where you will be taught how to correct your thought processes with your professional therapist. It can also be achieved differently through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy where you shall learn how to accept your thought processes.
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